








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 569 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 342 matches | ||
| Faceit | 174 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4172 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2462 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3695 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4088 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,677,039 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 992 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ۞ 𝖎𝖈𝖔𝖓.➃𝓚 ✔ | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | etoshi | 59% | 94 |
| #3 | -_- | 58% | 95 |
| #4 | jøeel | 58% | 73 |
| #5 | kebab | 52% | 324 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | etoshi | 59% | 94 |
| #3 | -_- | 58% | 95 |
| #4 | jøeel | 58% | 73 |
| #5 | kebab | 52% | 324 |
| #6 | 𝖍𝖆𝖚𝖇𝖏𝖊𝖗𝖌 | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kebab | 25 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | jøeel | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | etoshi | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | -_- | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | ۞ 𝖎𝖈𝖔𝖓.➃𝓚 ✔ | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kebab | 643 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #2 | jøeel | 466 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #3 | etoshi | 266 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | -_- | 121 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | ۞ 𝖎𝖈𝖔𝖓.➃𝓚 ✔ | 62 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -_- | +3.17 | 90 | 56 |
| #2 | etoshi | +0.91 | 86 | 67 |
| #3 | kebab | +0.89 | 74 | 58 |
| #4 | jøeel | +0.70 | 82 | 71 |
| #5 | 𝖍𝖆𝖚𝖇𝖏𝖊𝖗𝖌 | +0.39 | 81 | 55 |





