








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 630 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3701 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4000 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5716 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5488 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,096,033 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6717 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kr3xz- β | 58% | 95 |
| #2 | ππππππππ | 55% | 83 |
| #3 | etoshi | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | jΓΈeel | 49% | 167 |
| #5 | kebab | 48% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ππππππππ | 55% | 83 |
| #3 | etoshi | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | jΓΈeel | 49% | 167 |
| #5 | kebab | 48% | 81 |
| #6 | A L V Γ Γ δΈ | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jΓΈeel | 22 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | ππππππππ | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Kr3xz- β | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | kebab | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | etoshi | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jΓΈeel | 848 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #2 | etoshi | 158 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | kebab | 115 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kr3xz- β | 98 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | ππππππππ | 86 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -_- | +2.12 | 91 | 51 |
| #2 | jΓΈeel | +0.60 | 83 | 69 |
| #3 | A L V Γ Γ δΈ | +0.28 | 77 | 53 |
| #4 | kebab | +0.09 | 77 | 53 |
| #5 | etoshi | -0.44 | 85 | 71 |





