








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 763 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4022 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3958 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2715 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3629 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3367 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,348,715 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henging Balls | 55% | 83 |
| #2 | $ j0hnnY | 54% | 100 |
| #3 | Matze | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | Spritberg :) | 53% | 131 |
| #5 | chriznmeister=D | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | chriznmeister=D | 50% | 26 |
| #6 | Mogel_ | 47% | 64 |
| #7 | JölMcSwäggins | 45% | 53 |
| #8 | El Macho | 43% | 30 |
| #9 | noe$y | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spritberg :) | 13 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Mogel_ | 8 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | $ j0hnnY | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Henging Balls | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Matze | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spritberg :) | 295 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Mogel_ | 274 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | JölMcSwäggins | 265 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #4 | Henging Balls | 135 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | $ j0hnnY | 66 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $ j0hnnY | +1.51 | 64 | 46 |
| #2 | JölMcSwäggins | +1.33 | 63 | 57 |
| #3 | Mogel_ | +1.12 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | Faboli_ | +0.70 | 81 | 63 |
| #5 | chriznmeister=D | +0.04 | 74 | 70 |





