








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3407 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4016 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3935 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2498 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $664,934 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chriznmeister=D | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | Maik | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | Stefan Raabst | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | Pozilist Martin Hintzen | 54% | 112 |
| #5 | Schnitzelmeister 3000 | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schnitzelmeister 3000 | +3.45 | 72 | 30 |
| #2 | Pozilist Martin Hintzen | +2.59 | 68 | 51 |
| #3 | Faboli_ | +2.48 | 83 | 60 |
| #4 | JölMcSwäggins | +2.24 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | $ j0hnnY | +2.14 | 64 | 45 |





