








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 339 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 764 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1637 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1153 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1750 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,145,593 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 845 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Old Greg | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Ding Ding | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | A TINY PINK THICKHEADED CAT | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | anarcho-kanyeist | 52% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Old Greg | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Ding Ding | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | A TINY PINK THICKHEADED CAT | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | anarcho-kanyeist | 52% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anarcho-kanyeist | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Ding Ding | 4 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | A TINY PINK THICKHEADED CAT | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anarcho-kanyeist | 692 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | A TINY PINK THICKHEADED CAT | 57 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ding Ding | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Old Greg | 26 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SolidStateLabs | +1.76 | 64 | 42 |
| #2 | Ding Ding | +1.19 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | Old Greg | +0.59 | 58 | 57 |
| #4 | A TINY PINK THICKHEADED CAT | -0.85 | 61 | 60 |
| #5 | anarcho-kanyeist | -1.50 | 41 | 75 |





