








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 772 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1199 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 796 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1297 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $859,945 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baphomet | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Misterbabadock | 62% | 37 |
| #3 | Hane | 59% | 46 |
| #4 | Ruth | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | Br Br Patapim | 51% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ruth | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | Br Br Patapim | 51% | 132 |
| #6 | Matrix FR | 45% | 66 |
| #7 | Sweet Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ﻝﮞ | 43% | 53 |
| #8 | Balouza | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Br Br Patapim | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Sweet Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ﻝﮞ | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Hane | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | baphomet | 3 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Balouza | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Br Br Patapim | 101 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #2 | Sweet Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ﻝﮞ | 69 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | baphomet | 58 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Misterbabadock | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hane | 32 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hane | +3.84 | 67 | 36 |
| #2 | baphomet | +3.60 | 84 | 46 |
| #3 | Fenril05 | +2.66 | 44 | 34 |
| #4 | Misterbabadock | +1.07 | 56 | 62 |
| #5 | Ruth | -0.59 | 23 | 46 |





