








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2290 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1016 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1245 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1100 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,731 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SanFran | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | Tarnsky | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | BOGSON B | 64% | 45 |
| #4 | Jaryo | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | rby pluto | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jaryo | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | rby pluto | 60% | 10 |
| #6 | SteadyMobn | 58% | 36 |
| #7 | jackko | 52% | 23 |
| #8 | n. beast | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOGSON B | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | jackko | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Tarnsky | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | SanFran | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Jaryo | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOGSON B | 184 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Tarnsky | 136 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | SanFran | 67 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | n. beast | 41 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | SteadyMobn | 35 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rby Jaxdn | +3.01 | 80 | 65 |
| #2 | jackko | +2.29 | 93 | 62 |
| #3 | BOGSON B | +1.91 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | n. beast | +1.44 | 85 | 58 |
| #5 | SanFran | +0.55 | 77 | 73 |





