








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1694 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2155 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1882 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1485 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $775,028 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rby Baked | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | Kawasaki Ninja H2R | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | sOki | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Jaryo | 57% | 69 |
| #5 | n. beast | 57% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n. beast | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Kawasaki Ninja H2R | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Stoobu doopu | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Jaryo | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | I am Kenough | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n. beast | 537 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #2 | rby Baked | 166 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | goose | 157 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jaryo | 147 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | sOki | 126 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jackko | +4.22 | 91 | 58 |
| #2 | sOki | +2.19 | 86 | 67 |
| #3 | rby Baked | +2.01 | 80 | 68 |
| #4 | rby Jaxdn | +1.52 | 73 | 66 |
| #5 | n. beast | +1.36 | 80 | 58 |





