








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
853 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,934 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 421 | 22% |
| Smokes | 614 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 491 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 408 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $140,762 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leonid W. Kurmaz | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | KRECIK | 49% | 47 |
| #3 | Dorotka <3 | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | im._.trxsh.uwu | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | Tobisix | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KRECIK | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Tobisix | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Carry Me Senpai uwu | 2 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | im._.trxsh.uwu | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobisix | 134 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | KRECIK | 121 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Dorotka <3 | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Leonid W. Kurmaz | 24 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Carry Me Senpai uwu | 24 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leonid W. Kurmaz | +3.78 | 75 | 48 |
| #2 | Brad Pitt | +2.63 | 78 | 52 |
| #3 | im._.trxsh.uwu | +1.00 | 72 | 39 |
| #4 | KRECIK | +0.97 | 60 | 61 |
| #5 | Dorotka <3 | -0.15 | 60 | 47 |





