








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 505 | 30% |
| Smokes | 465 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 357 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 349 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $387,243 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brad Pitt | 43% | 23 |
| #2 | Leonid W. Kurmaz | 41% | 22 |
| #3 | im._.trxsh.uwu | 39% | 31 |
| #4 | KRECIK | 36% | 42 |
| #5 | Carry Me Senpai uwu | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobisix | 9 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Carry Me Senpai uwu | 5 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | KRECIK | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | im._.trxsh.uwu | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Brad Pitt | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobisix | 198 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | KRECIK | 104 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Brad Pitt | 52 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Leonid W. Kurmaz | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Carry Me Senpai uwu | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brad Pitt | +2.38 | 82 | 43 |
| #2 | im._.trxsh.uwu | +2.09 | 73 | 47 |
| #3 | Leonid W. Kurmaz | +1.69 | 69 | 55 |
| #4 | Dorotka <3 | +0.31 | 67 | 45 |
| #5 | KRECIK | -0.46 | 59 | 58 |





