








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 679 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2536 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3064 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1318 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 3785 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2667 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $795,562 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 383 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sıuuǝp | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | Xell | 63% | 54 |
| #3 | eule | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | Gunner | 55% | 130 |
| #5 | meeban | 55% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meeban | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Sıuuǝp | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | rizz_. | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | eule | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Gunner | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meeban | 739 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | Gunner | 590 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #3 | Xell | 149 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sıuuǝp | 72 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | rizz_. | 62 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rizz_. | +4.96 | 93 | 58 |
| #2 | Gunner | +1.22 | 74 | 73 |
| #3 | meeban | +1.19 | 75 | 68 |
| #4 | zowizo | +0.74 | 76 | 74 |
| #5 | Sıuuǝp | -0.81 | 82 | 52 |





