








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 715 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 136 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4534 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3025 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4582 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4111 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $977,231 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xell | 55% | 175 |
| #2 | zowizo | 55% | 188 |
| #3 | Sıuuǝp | 55% | 167 |
| #4 | Gunner | 54% | 209 |
| #5 | eule | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | zowizo | 55% | 188 |
| #3 | Sıuuǝp | 55% | 167 |
| #4 | Gunner | 54% | 209 |
| #5 | eule | 52% | 25 |
| #6 | rizz_. | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sıuuǝp | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | zowizo | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Xell | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | eule | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Gunner | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gunner | 1019 | 0.24 | 25 min |
| #2 | zowizo | 487 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Xell | 465 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | Sıuuǝp | 332 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | rizz_. | 50 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rizz_. | +5.39 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | meeban | +1.74 | 78 | 68 |
| #3 | Gunner | +1.31 | 74 | 75 |
| #4 | zowizo | +0.68 | 77 | 75 |
| #5 | Sıuuǝp | -0.11 | 82 | 54 |





