








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 328 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1078 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1381 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1638 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 849 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,038,349 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dikn Pipo | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | raW๐ | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | CrazyCheeks | 75% | 28 |
| #4 | Yeshua | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | decky | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Yeshua | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | decky | 57% | 14 |
| #6 | Nigh | 57% | 60 |
| #7 | jkirem | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | CARNAGE AK47 | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nigh | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | CrazyCheeks | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Yeshua | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Dikn Pipo | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nigh | 247 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | Yeshua | 137 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | CrazyCheeks | 118 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | jkirem | 87 | 0.39 | 3 min |
| #5 | decky | 52 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrazyCheeks | +4.41 | 77 | 54 |
| #2 | Dikn Pipo | +3.71 | 88 | 51 |
| #3 | jkirem | +2.05 | 70 | 77 |
| #4 | Nigh | +1.92 | 83 | 66 |
| #5 | decky | +1.83 | 63 | 58 |





