








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 760 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 424 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 128 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5650 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6147 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4742 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4430 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,840,308 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir_WaterBear | 71% | 31 |
| #2 | Johnny_ | 67% | 33 |
| #3 | hey hey heyyy | 61% | 82 |
| #4 | FJElliott | 60% | 63 |
| #5 | sabro | 56% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jkirem | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Nigh | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Huso | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | RigorMortis | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | hey hey heyyy | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jkirem | +2.46 | 78 | 75 |
| #2 | Nigh | +2.27 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | Johnny_ | +1.84 | 61 | 64 |
| #4 | Sir_WaterBear | +1.82 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | Switchr | +1.58 | 67 | 75 |





