








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 732 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1187 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 788 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1005 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $969,173 of utility $304 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 356 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buntaga | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Danksy | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Aquelo | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | Eulogy | 62% | 37 |
| #5 | L4ma | 56% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | teible | 46% | 13 |
| #12 | Dielanッ | 44% | 9 |
| #13 | astroom | 40% | 20 |
| #14 | tweak | 33% | 9 |
| #15 | Watto | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eulogy | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | L4ma | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | teible | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L4ma | 178 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Eulogy | 107 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Seek | 67 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | kikmenow | 65 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | teible | 58 | 0.20 | 2 min |





