








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 580 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 457 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,859 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1383 | 9% |
| Smokes | 7082 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 4044 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2350 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,351,814 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1678 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | hollering at your mama | 36% | 53 |
| #15 | akira | 36% | 176 |
| #16 | .blackrabbitrabid | 32% | 34 |
| #17 | Bindi's boot camp | 31% | 32 |
| #18 | Chatmandu | 30% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kitra | 13 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | .blackrabbitrabid | 10 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | shoota | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Synaptic | 8 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | ۩ Styx | 8 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shoota | 413 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | BeeDoo | 289 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | akira | 160 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lazy | 120 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | The Flying Dutchman | 119 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IPICKLESS | +4.95 | 77 | 44 |
| #2 | The Flying Dutchman | +4.82 | 89 | 56 |
| #3 | hollering at your mama | +2.91 | 70 | 41 |
| #4 | shoota | +2.70 | 75 | 56 |
| #5 | kitra | +1.77 | 49 | 31 |





