










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 651 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 635 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




159 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,821 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2629 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1482 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1301 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1409 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $790,829 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3962 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ۩ Styx | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Synaptic | 55% | 44 |
| #3 | akira | 48% | 284 |
| #4 | blind and deaf | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | BeeDoo | 43% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | blind and deaf | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | BeeDoo | 43% | 54 |
| #6 | kitler | 39% | 241 |
| #7 | klaymen9 | 39% | 72 |
| #8 | vienna?¿ | 37% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kitler | 38 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | akira | 14 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Synaptic | 11 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | vienna?¿ | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | BeeDoo | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kitler | 1259 | 0.25 | 26 min |
| #2 | BeeDoo | 185 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | akira | 131 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #4 | vienna?¿ | 115 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | blind and deaf | 98 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Synaptic | +1.08 | 55 | 44 |
| #2 | kitra | +0.94 | 41 | 31 |
| #3 | ۩ Styx | -0.11 | 66 | 28 |
| #4 | klaymen9 | -0.69 | 51 | 32 |
| #5 | vienna?¿ | -0.73 | 36 | 53 |





