








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 957 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4340 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3167 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2138 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2270 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2123 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $903,017 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 578 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Zemestrice | 54% | 50 |
| #9 | UwU | 53% | 17 |
| #10 | Sal Mins | 48% | 75 |
| #11 | Wazza | 44% | 78 |
| #12 | Grindushka | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wazza | 262 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Sal Mins | 159 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Zemestrice | 136 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | danjixxxx | 135 | 0.43 | 4 min |
| #5 | Raozy | 94 | 0.22 | 2 min |





