








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 372 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2699 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2695 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 6246 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 5394 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,120,692 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 451 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wazza | 55% | 121 |
| #2 | oskarshaizivjbende | 54% | 105 |
| #3 | Skapars | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | KIVETORS | 53% | 164 |
| #5 | RushlinE* | 53% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danjix | 61 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Zemestrice | 29 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Nils Ušakovs | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Raozy | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | KIVETORS | 10 | 0.0031 |





