








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2447 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2306 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2586 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2747 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1805 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $666,691 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | torNado- | 21 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | Trenticles | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | apac | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | ✪ Eclipse | 4 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | L1KEWISE! | 3 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | torNado- | 278 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | apac | 138 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | tyler | 109 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Trenticles | 103 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪ Eclipse | 76 | 0.21 | 2 min |





