








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3483 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6583 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2348 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 6065 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $897,231 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BDCor3y | 50% | 36 |
| #7 | Gooby Gobbler | 49% | 172 |
| #8 | Trenticles | 48% | 103 |
| #9 | H | 47% | 176 |
| #10 | RiZZle | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Specsy | 53 | 0.0183 |
| #2 | Gooby Gobbler | 17 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | RiZZle | 15 | 0.0229 |
| #4 | K3F7Y | 13 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | Trenticles | 11 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gooby Gobbler | 433 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | K3F7Y | 319 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #3 | Trenticles | 213 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Specsy | 180 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ch1ng =) | 133 | 0.11 | 3 min |





