








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 307 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 618 | 32% |
| Smokes | 407 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 328 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 573 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,759 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Honk | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | NiGhT | 52% | 89 |
| #3 | Johnny Hammersticks | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | karter | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | mucc | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Honk | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | NiGhT | 52% | 89 |
| #3 | Johnny Hammersticks | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | karter | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | mucc | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Honk | 7 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | karter | 6 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | NiGhT | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | mucc | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiGhT | 227 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | mucc | 98 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | karter | 77 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Honk | 69 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Johnny Hammersticks | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karter | +7.40 | 69 | 63 |
| #2 | NiGhT | +4.61 | 69 | 62 |
| #3 | Johnny Hammersticks | +4.19 | 52 | 39 |
| #4 | Honk | +1.66 | 53 | 62 |
| #5 | TESAL1XUN0 | -2.42 | 36 | 41 |





