








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1563 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3507 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2054 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1347 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 998 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,517,765 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 981 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Honk | 61% | 109 |
| #2 | karter | 57% | 82 |
| #3 | Kemalu | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | TESAL1XUN0 | 52% | 89 |
| #5 | naz | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | karter | 57% | 82 |
| #3 | Kemalu | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | TESAL1XUN0 | 52% | 89 |
| #5 | naz | 50% | 18 |
| #6 | mucc | 47% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karter | 22 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | Honk | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | TESAL1XUN0 | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | mucc | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Kemalu | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karter | 370 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | Honk | 294 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | mucc | 159 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | TESAL1XUN0 | 142 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | naz | 102 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karter | +5.20 | 72 | 69 |
| #2 | Kemalu | +4.16 | 65 | 68 |
| #3 | NiGhT | +2.87 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | Honk | +0.91 | 61 | 62 |
| #5 | naz | -1.05 | 63 | 60 |





