








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5141 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,805 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9184 | 42% |
| Smokes | 6036 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1692 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 4893 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $985,781 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sk1tz0. | 27 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | _Ink_ | 10 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | SekoRane | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Jerry | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Ronllz | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SekoRane | 355 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Sk1tz0. | 300 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | _Ink_ | 255 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ronllz | 195 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jerry | 187 | 0.07 | 4 min |





