








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 37 | 2% |
| Smokes | 55 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 887 | 54% |
| Molotovs | 670 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $271,378 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugimo-kun | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | oweur | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Volskaa | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Shadow | 52% | 69 |
| #5 | Willow | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | oweur | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Volskaa | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Shadow | 52% | 69 |
| #5 | Willow | 50% | 32 |
| #6 | Antho42FR2 | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willow | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Shadow | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Antho42FR2 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Volskaa | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | oweur | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willow | 115 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | Shadow | 90 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Antho42FR2 | 22 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Volskaa | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | oweur | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willow | +3.13 | 76 | 62 |
| #2 | Volskaa | +0.61 | 47 | 54 |
| #3 | Dimi42FR | +0.47 | 54 | 16 |
| #4 | Hugimo-kun | +0.17 | 50 | 36 |
| #5 | oweur | -1.22 | 42 | 49 |





