








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 513 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Wingman | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2740 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1180 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1425 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2977 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,165,052 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1499 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cluckes | 51% | 98 |
| #2 | Chrome Bumper | 50% | 42 |
| #3 | Skell<3 | 46% | 145 |
| #4 | Arm&HammerLiquidLaundryDetergent | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cluckes | 51% | 98 |
| #2 | Chrome Bumper | 50% | 42 |
| #3 | Skell<3 | 46% | 145 |
| #4 | Arm&HammerLiquidLaundryDetergent | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skell<3 | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | cluckes | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Arm&HammerLiquidLaundryDetergent | 4 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Chrome Bumper | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cluckes | 454 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | Skell<3 | 81 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Arm&HammerLiquidLaundryDetergent | 72 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Chrome Bumper | 36 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cluckes | +2.56 | 65 | 54 |
| #2 | Chrome Bumper | +1.52 | 85 | 30 |
| #3 | KELZ | +0.22 | 71 | 40 |
| #4 | Arm&HammerLiquidLaundryDetergent | -0.60 | 48 | 27 |
| #5 | Skell<3 | -3.02 | 31 | 22 |





