








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1049 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1070 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 588 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 348 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $299,566 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3amo ADRN | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | Lil Schaudi | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | TjΓΆrck | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Hero_0 | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | Mr. Nice Guy | 60% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | β Killing Machine β | 59% | 80 |
| #11 | T4k1 | 56% | 16 |
| #12 | Kitty2120 | 51% | 76 |
| #13 | xyok | 36% | 11 |
| #14 | Carlitos | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β·β―ππΎπ.- | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Mr. Nice Guy | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | β Killing Machine β | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | 3amo ADRN | 4 | 0.0143 |
| #5 | xyok | 2 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β·β―ππΎπ.- | 413 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Kitty2120 | 236 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Mr. Nice Guy | 192 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | β Killing Machine β | 90 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | T4k1 | 61 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TjΓΆrck | +3.30 | 90 | 70 |
| #2 | Carlitos | +2.22 | 83 | 57 |
| #3 | Hero_0 | +2.05 | 67 | 65 |
| #4 | 3amo ADRN | +1.83 | 69 | 77 |
| #5 | Mr. Nice Guy | +1.80 | 83 | 54 |





