








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 482 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4821 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5712 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3940 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4832 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,925,567 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Classy Goat | 60% | 60 |
| #2 | Cell | 57% | 169 |
| #3 | justxnn- | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | Ezra | 55% | 395 |
| #5 | Fartful Poopler | 54% | 382 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fartful Poopler | 54% | 382 |
| #6 | Anonymous Anemone | 48% | 93 |
| #7 | justin | 47% | 51 |
| #8 | buu | 44% | 75 |
| #9 | D3ath_0ps | 39% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fartful Poopler | 52 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Cell | 14 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Ezra | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Anonymous Anemone | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Classy Goat | 5 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fartful Poopler | 1761 | 0.23 | 44 min |
| #2 | Ezra | 1424 | 0.18 | 39 min |
| #3 | Cell | 662 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #4 | Classy Goat | 236 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | justxnn- | 228 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ezra | +2.33 | 64 | 71 |
| #2 | justxnn- | +2.32 | 84 | 84 |
| #3 | Cell | +1.98 | 81 | 58 |
| #4 | iChickenHer0 | +1.86 | 86 | 59 |
| #5 | Classy Goat | +1.68 | 57 | 78 |





