








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 140 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,673 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2828 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2925 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2270 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1650 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $634,575 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Holger Danskpilsner | 60% | 89 |
| #2 | DØLLE | 55% | 121 |
| #3 | busi blanco | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | Trigeer | 52% | 111 |
| #5 | E1MH01T | 50% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | busi blanco | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | Trigeer | 52% | 111 |
| #5 | E1MH01T | 50% | 128 |
| #6 | DJ Dinger :) | 49% | 146 |
| #7 | Gamecooper | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E1MH01T | 13 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Trigeer | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Holger Danskpilsner | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | busi blanco | 7 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | DJ Dinger :) | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ Dinger :) | 349 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | E1MH01T | 309 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Holger Danskpilsner | 269 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Trigeer | 198 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | busi blanco | 161 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Holger Danskpilsner | +3.12 | 92 | 65 |
| #2 | busi blanco | +0.90 | 84 | 54 |
| #3 | zeny666 | +0.66 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | E1MH01T | +0.59 | 65 | 63 |
| #5 | DJ Dinger :) | +0.07 | 74 | 61 |





