








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 206 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1716 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2211 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1962 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2183 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $643,320 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buddy | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | DØLLE | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | E1MH01T | 54% | 218 |
| #4 | zeny666 | 52% | 111 |
| #5 | DJ Dinger :) | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buddy | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | DØLLE | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | E1MH01T | 54% | 218 |
| #4 | zeny666 | 52% | 111 |
| #5 | DJ Dinger :) | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E1MH01T | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | zeny666 | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | DØLLE | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | DJ Dinger :) | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E1MH01T | 540 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | zeny666 | 338 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | Buddy | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | DJ Dinger :) | 83 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | DØLLE | 29 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeny666 | +1.15 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Buddy | +1.13 | 56 | 62 |
| #3 | DØLLE | +0.74 | 80 | 54 |
| #4 | Trigeer | +0.37 | 65 | 52 |
| #5 | E1MH01T | +0.37 | 63 | 66 |





