








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 515 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2253 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,133 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3157 | 51% |
| Smokes | 1164 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 636 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1176 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $581,928 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jones | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | A.Le Sta | 47% | 47 |
| #3 | ckob0lz1 | 46% | 69 |
| #4 | ShadowMoneyWizard | 46% | 117 |
| #5 | Abu mamba | 45% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juspa ∩ (◣_◢) ∩ | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | ShadowMoneyWizard | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | paskalesta | 6 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Abu mamba | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ckob0lz1 | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juspa ∩ (◣_◢) ∩ | 583 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | ShadowMoneyWizard | 288 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Abu mamba | 226 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | A.Le Sta | 174 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | ckob0lz1 | 166 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Miraley | +2.81 | 88 | 62 |
| #2 | A.Le Sta | +1.24 | 70 | 70 |
| #3 | Abu Yaseer | +0.95 | 50 | 68 |
| #4 | jones | +0.72 | 50 | 70 |
| #5 | ckob0lz1 | -0.05 | 71 | 64 |





