








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,470 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2273 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2664 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2175 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2358 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $726,985 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 883 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rcc | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | ✪ Tezz Stiffmeister | 70% | 44 |
| #3 | -rOdri | 66% | 38 |
| #4 | Fantasminha Brincalhão | 64% | 22 |
| #5 | r0ken | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fantasminha Brincalhão | 64% | 22 |
| #5 | r0ken | 58% | 24 |
| #6 | P0 | 46% | 46 |
| #7 | sínon_ | 42% | 130 |
| #8 | Belt | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sínon_ | 16 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | ✪ Tezz Stiffmeister | 9 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | rcc | 6 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | Fantasminha Brincalhão | 6 | 0.0131 |
| #5 | P0 | 5 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sínon_ | 228 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | -rOdri | 152 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | P0 | 151 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ Tezz Stiffmeister | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | r0ken | 94 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Tezz Stiffmeister | +5.78 | 87 | 76 |
| #2 | -rOdri | +2.22 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | Natsu - Allkeyshop | +2.14 | 74 | 59 |
| #4 | Fantasminha Brincalhão | +1.99 | 64 | 67 |
| #5 | r0ken | +0.54 | 82 | 68 |





