








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 347 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 471 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4242 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,082 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1501 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2011 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1028 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1542 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,016,603 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Detective Watson | 53% | 80 |
| #2 | skkkkkk | 50% | 100 |
| #3 | ... | 50% | 210 |
| #4 | hamishchan7 | 49% | 202 |
| #5 | wky | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ... | 50% | 210 |
| #4 | hamishchan7 | 49% | 202 |
| #5 | wky | 48% | 29 |
| #6 | DLUU | 48% | 193 |
| #7 | 劉青雲 | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hamishchan7 | 19 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | DLUU | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Detective Watson | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | ... | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | skkkkkk | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hamishchan7 | 560 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | ... | 513 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Detective Watson | 346 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | skkkkkk | 287 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | DLUU | 206 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ... | +2.49 | 74 | 41 |
| #2 | 劉青雲 | +1.38 | 63 | 47 |
| #3 | hamishchan7 | -0.03 | 42 | 50 |
| #4 | DLUU | -0.87 | 39 | 36 |
| #5 | Detective Watson | -1.02 | 17 | 46 |





