








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,119 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2118 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1713 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1587 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1701 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $467,221 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grape | 81% | 21 |
| #2 | Noble 6 | 76% | 25 |
| #3 | mira | 73% | 91 |
| #4 | ♥ niise | 71% | 14 |
| #5 | FUGI | 61% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mira | 12 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Not Pol0 | 10 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | FUGI | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Noble 6 | 4 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | grape | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Pol0 | 389 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #2 | mira | 364 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | FUGI | 211 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | ♥ niise | 84 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #5 | grape | 83 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noble 6 | +3.44 | 73 | 62 |
| #2 | Not Pol0 | +2.92 | 90 | 78 |
| #3 | grape | +2.86 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | エテックス | +2.30 | 58 | 71 |
| #5 | ♥ niise | +1.70 | 71 | 75 |





