








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 128 | 28% |
| Smokes | 119 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 106 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 103 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $138,603 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Meltsi | 39% | 28 |
| #7 | Pulu | 36% | 36 |
| #8 | s2k㊪ | 35% | 17 |
| #9 | Je5u | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | peperoni | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pulu | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | s2k㊪ | 5 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | Kingrat | 3 | 0.0140 |
| #4 | Meltsi | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pulu | 93 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | s2k㊪ | 82 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kingrat | 81 | 0.38 | 3 min |
| #4 | Je5u | 11 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #5 | peperoni | 9 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pherseshöns | +4.46 | 92 | 28 |
| #2 | Je5u | +2.74 | 67 | 44 |
| #3 | Kingrat | +0.71 | 68 | 81 |
| #4 | s2k㊪ | +0.21 | 51 | 62 |
| #5 | Pulu | -0.49 | 67 | 68 |





