








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3823 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7451 | 44% |
| Smokes | 3401 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3612 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2591 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $719,235 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 400 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Motimäki | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | Pherseshöns | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | marok | 54% | 90 |
| #4 | recruit | 53% | 159 |
| #5 | Taiquri | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pulu | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Meltsi | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Taiquri | 8 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | recruit | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | s2k㊪ | 7 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | recruit | 614 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | Pulu | 568 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | Tuikelo :_D | 359 | 0.30 | 10 min |
| #4 | Je5u | 234 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Taiquri | 202 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kingrat | +2.22 | 71 | 81 |
| #2 | Tuikelo :_D | +1.38 | 54 | 71 |
| #3 | Pherseshöns | +0.69 | 65 | 66 |
| #4 | Taiquri | +0.36 | 54 | 63 |
| #5 | recruit | -0.03 | 46 | 57 |





