








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
721 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,400 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 931 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1061 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 666 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 742 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $121,565 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eem1L | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Shumppa | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Henkkuli | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | WILLAIN | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | Murikka | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eem1L | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Shumppa | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Henkkuli | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | WILLAIN | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | Murikka | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henkkuli | 5 | 0.0162 |
| #2 | WILLAIN | 2 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Murikka | 52 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Henkkuli | 48 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Shumppa | 40 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #4 | WILLAIN | 39 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | eem1L | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shumppa | +4.46 | 52 | 73 |
| #2 | Henkkuli | +0.38 | 87 | 62 |
| #3 | eem1L | +0.35 | 63 | 64 |
| #4 | WILLAIN | +0.15 | 61 | 68 |
| #5 | Huuko | -0.09 | 36 | 59 |





