








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 691 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Wingman | 119 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3412 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3498 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4913 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2629 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,518,631 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 532 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lewis | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | UNCLE | 53% | 60 |
| #3 | Dylan | 51% | 489 |
| #4 | Beazy | 50% | 70 |
| #5 | Snout | 49% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | UNCLE | 53% | 60 |
| #3 | Dylan | 51% | 489 |
| #4 | Beazy | 50% | 70 |
| #5 | Snout | 49% | 179 |
| #6 | Opel Corsa OPC | 36% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dylan | 44 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Snout | 23 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | UNCLE | 15 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | Beazy | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Opel Corsa OPC | 7 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dylan | 399 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #2 | UNCLE | 296 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | Snout | 181 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Beazy | 109 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Opel Corsa OPC | 74 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNCLE | +5.81 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | Hector Brocklebank | +0.92 | 74 | 55 |
| #3 | Dylan | +0.44 | 75 | 49 |
| #4 | Lewis | -0.06 | 86 | 49 |
| #5 | Beazy | -0.41 | 63 | 50 |





