










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 788 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 371 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6191 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6713 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5490 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5171 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,177,427 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anax | 65% | 105 |
| #2 | hirix | 63% | 519 |
| #3 | Carti-kun | 63% | 267 |
| #4 | Vacuum Butt Cannon | 63% | 72 |
| #5 | Stunna | 61% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Stunna | 61% | 148 |
| #6 | Sketch | 60% | 159 |
| #7 | t0m :) | 55% | 78 |
| #8 | Dean Gill Berry | 46% | 39 |
| #9 | TarTarBits | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carti-kun | 68 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | hirix | 25 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Sketch | 22 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Vacuum Butt Cannon | 10 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Stunna | 9 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hirix | 1414 | 0.14 | 30 min |
| #2 | Sketch | 624 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #3 | Carti-kun | 472 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #4 | Anax | 449 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #5 | Stunna | 383 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hirix | +3.37 | 87 | 50 |
| #2 | Carti-kun | +1.82 | 88 | 46 |
| #3 | Sketch | +1.30 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | Vicious | +1.09 | 82 | 61 |
| #5 | Anax | +0.94 | 83 | 51 |





