








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 548 matches | ||
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8369 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9084 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4554 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 7483 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,752,927 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anax | 66% | 268 |
| #2 | Vacuum Butt Cannon | 65% | 107 |
| #3 | Dean Gill Berry | 65% | 92 |
| #4 | Carti-kun | 64% | 333 |
| #5 | hirix | 64% | 578 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | hirix | 64% | 578 |
| #6 | Stunna | 61% | 156 |
| #7 | Vicious | 60% | 159 |
| #8 | Zachariah | 57% | 53 |
| #9 | t0m :) | 51% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carti-kun | 80 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | hirix | 28 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Anax | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Stunna | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Vicious | 8 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hirix | 1514 | 0.13 | 32 min |
| #2 | Anax | 1299 | 0.23 | 28 min |
| #3 | Vicious | 637 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #4 | Carti-kun | 583 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #5 | Stunna | 551 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hirix | +2.33 | 87 | 46 |
| #2 | Sketch | +1.59 | 68 | 66 |
| #3 | Carti-kun | +1.35 | 88 | 44 |
| #4 | Dean Gill Berry | +1.17 | 86 | 61 |
| #5 | Anax | +1.13 | 83 | 53 |





