








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1242 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,210 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1304 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1180 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 824 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 902 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $495,901 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheese¡ | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | DoubleStuf | 57% | 47 |
| #3 | f_ | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | FishOil | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | jackson | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | FishOil | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | jackson | 50% | 18 |
| #6 | Drake hot sauce🔥 | 48% | 33 |
| #7 | BouchartM | 45% | 31 |
| #8 | twitch.tv/b1te_cs | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DoubleStuf | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Drake hot sauce🔥 | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | f_ | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | twitch.tv/b1te_cs | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | jackson | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DoubleStuf | 193 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | f_ | 99 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Drake hot sauce🔥 | 82 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | BouchartM | 71 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | twitch.tv/b1te_cs | 61 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DoubleStuf | +1.58 | 86 | 70 |
| #2 | Drake hot sauce🔥 | +1.53 | 83 | 55 |
| #3 | twitch.tv/b1te_cs | +0.62 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | cheese¡ | +0.61 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | f_ | +0.61 | 83 | 49 |





