








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1062 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,485 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 404 | 16% |
| Smokes | 295 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1138 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 648 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,630 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alfoncigo (Benched) | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | PirindoloMental | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | BroKiSs | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | Zenemij | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | ioanaBlue | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | tupp0 | 46% | 28 |
| #16 | Godino #foreverRiders | 45% | 20 |
| #17 | ThorTicollis | 43% | 21 |
| #18 | LagazoMental | 43% | 28 |
| #19 | joseyyo | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThorTicollis | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | BroKiSs | 2 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | PirindoloMental | 2 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | tupp0 | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Godino #foreverRiders | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | morto | 226 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #2 | tupp0 | 142 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | Zenemij | 59 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | ThorTicollis | 53 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | LagazoMental | 44 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goatge | +4.71 | 64 | 76 |
| #2 | PirindoloMental | +4.06 | 52 | 80 |
| #3 | alfoncigo (Benched) | +2.79 | 40 | 54 |
| #4 | BroKiSs | +2.26 | 76 | 64 |
| #5 | TehhRome | +1.27 | 40 | 47 |





