








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 490 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 147 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1768 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1920 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1028 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2126 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $766,136 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 388 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | celery | 85% | 26 |
| #2 | c-dubs | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | Speedyw69 | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | avery | 69% | 16 |
| #5 | toasty | 67% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | gadfly | 60% | 15 |
| #7 | Jerrii | 56% | 25 |
| #8 | hambooga | 56% | 18 |
| #9 | toasty | 52% | 21 |
| #10 | vanessa | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toasty | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | vanessa | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | avery | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | c-dubs | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | toasty | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | celery | 82 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | toasty | 75 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | vanessa | 72 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jerrii | 62 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | toasty | 61 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | celery | +3.94 | 82 | 75 |
| #2 | gir-ncmo-♡A | +3.58 | 96 | 67 |
| #3 | hambooga | +2.84 | 93 | 55 |
| #4 | avery | +1.75 | 71 | 71 |
| #5 | gadfly | +1.73 | 89 | 55 |





