








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1357 | 33% |
| Smokes | 953 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 970 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 828 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $559,870 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Starmiya | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Opzy | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | flux | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | drink | 50% | 115 |
| #5 | TR( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TR( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 49% | 55 |
| #6 | Akrepi | 48% | 25 |
| #7 | ray | 46% | 127 |
| #8 | MrBeefMissile | 45% | 38 |
| #9 | Notelracbeck | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Opzy | 9 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | TR( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | drink | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | ray | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drink | 387 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | TR( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 139 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | MrBeefMissile | 126 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Notelracbeck | 114 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | ray | 113 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Starmiya | +3.49 | 64 | 71 |
| #2 | Akrepi | +1.67 | 85 | 55 |
| #3 | drink | +1.43 | 57 | 77 |
| #4 | TR( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | +0.90 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | ray | +0.86 | 67 | 45 |





