








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 276 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3646 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1887 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2285 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2597 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2136 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,559,488 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 203 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Pig | 55% | 65 |
| #2 | Gamer Dad | 55% | 147 |
| #3 | Osh | 53% | 127 |
| #4 | ZeroK | 51% | 115 |
| #5 | dave | 48% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Pig | 55% | 65 |
| #2 | Gamer Dad | 55% | 147 |
| #3 | Osh | 53% | 127 |
| #4 | ZeroK | 51% | 115 |
| #5 | dave | 48% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZeroK | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Osh | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Gamer Dad | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osh | 495 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | ZeroK | 322 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Gamer Dad | 237 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | dave | 233 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | Big Pig | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dave | +1.39 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | Gamer Dad | +1.06 | 68 | 68 |
| #3 | Osh | +0.65 | 58 | 72 |
| #4 | adoptedturtle | +0.54 | 80 | 56 |
| #5 | ZeroK | -1.11 | 71 | 62 |





