








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,983 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1412 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1509 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1547 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1515 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $97,691 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer Dad | 55% | 136 |
| #2 | Osh | 55% | 122 |
| #3 | ZeroK | 54% | 107 |
| #4 | adoptedturtle | 48% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer Dad | 55% | 136 |
| #2 | Osh | 55% | 122 |
| #3 | ZeroK | 54% | 107 |
| #4 | adoptedturtle | 48% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osh | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Gamer Dad | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | ZeroK | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | adoptedturtle | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osh | 450 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | ZeroK | 297 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Gamer Dad | 239 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | adoptedturtle | 95 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer Dad | +1.20 | 65 | 69 |
| #2 | dave | +0.91 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | Osh | +0.25 | 58 | 72 |
| #4 | adoptedturtle | -0.78 | 76 | 55 |
| #5 | ZeroK | -1.75 | 68 | 63 |





