








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 484 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6551 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,558 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4499 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3422 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 6360 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5277 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,091,772 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 385 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dave | 55% | 136 |
| #2 | adoptedturtle | 55% | 147 |
| #3 | Osh | 55% | 532 |
| #4 | ZeroK | 54% | 353 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dave | 55% | 136 |
| #2 | adoptedturtle | 55% | 147 |
| #3 | Osh | 55% | 532 |
| #4 | ZeroK | 54% | 353 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osh | 29 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ZeroK | 27 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | adoptedturtle | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | dave | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osh | 1973 | 0.18 | 51 min |
| #2 | ZeroK | 924 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #3 | dave | 424 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | adoptedturtle | 188 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dave | +0.96 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | Gamer Dad | +0.68 | 67 | 67 |
| #3 | Osh | +0.24 | 60 | 69 |
| #4 | adoptedturtle | -0.64 | 80 | 55 |
| #5 | ZeroK | -1.45 | 69 | 63 |





