








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 407 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3402 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3061 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2447 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2413 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $532,732 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GM | DamageDieter | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Ren1 | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | ally | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Johnny ͜ʖ ͡°) | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | Twsted2k. | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ztrm | 42% | 31 |
| #9 | makz | 40% | 30 |
| #10 | Assur | 38% | 16 |
| #11 | GM | The Beast | 37% | 19 |
| #12 | Fl4mming | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny ͜ʖ ͡°) | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | ztrm | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Fl4mming | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | makz | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | GM | ►Mr.MonkeyPlay | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny ͜ʖ ͡°) | 128 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | b1rd | 121 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #3 | Twsted2k. | 83 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | GM | ►Mr.MonkeyPlay | 76 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | GM | DamageDieter | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | makz | +1.20 | 86 | 57 |
| #2 | AkTi4 | +0.68 | 70 | 76 |
| #3 | Fl4mming | +0.43 | 86 | 58 |
| #4 | b1rd | +0.10 | 68 | 69 |
| #5 | Johnny ͜ʖ ͡°) | +0.08 | 68 | 67 |





