








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1524 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 756 | 20% |
| Smokes | 845 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1124 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1044 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $432,637 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Fl4mming | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | makz | 59% | 76 |
| #5 | zRy | 58% | 12 |
| #6 | Ren1 | 49% | 35 |
| #7 | AkTi4 | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | makz | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Fl4mming | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | AkTi4 | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | zRy | 2 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | Noname | 2 | 0.0140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AkTi4 | 107 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | makz | 95 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Fl4mming | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | zRy | 33 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ren1 | 20 | 0.03 | 1 min |





