








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 699 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 372 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4920 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,652 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3480 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5076 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3108 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2988 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,743,660 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 398 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DingBuddy | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | dogy | 53% | 369 |
| #3 | Noname | 52% | 206 |
| #4 | theo | 52% | 368 |
| #5 | LeBarryTon | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | dogy | 53% | 369 |
| #3 | Noname | 52% | 206 |
| #4 | theo | 52% | 368 |
| #5 | LeBarryTon | 47% | 34 |
| #6 | Cutter | 42% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theo | 9 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | dogy | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Noname | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Cutter | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | DingBuddy | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theo | 1174 | 0.15 | 37 min |
| #2 | dogy | 675 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #3 | Cutter | 478 | 0.36 | 10 min |
| #4 | Noname | 255 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | DingBuddy | 107 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DingBuddy | +2.80 | 93 | 60 |
| #2 | theo | +0.96 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | Mythic | +0.95 | 72 | 52 |
| #4 | LeBarryTon | -0.08 | 90 | 63 |
| #5 | dogy | -0.50 | 67 | 51 |





